I must admit, in my first #OneWord post I got off track from the intent – simplifying the thought process of change to one concept and let it shape and possibly direct the year.

"Release" is the word I selected at 2011's start.

In spite of my unintended waywardness, I've experienced release in a way I didn't imagine back in January, both in positive and challenging ways.

Many in this online community we share watched as my family and I pulled up stakes in Starkville, Miss. – where we'd lived since just before Hurricane Katrina – to move back to my home state of Alabama.

Specifically, we've landed in Auburn, Ala., a place which has been on our hearts for some time for many reasons. We're sometimes stunned at the thought we're actually here. What brought us here was the aftermath of an EF-3 tornado which damaged but left standing a cabin my parents built back in the 1970s but Amanda and I now own.

I remember looking around at the devastation – hardly a square yard of ground went untouched – saying aloud "I see opportunity here." So we are in the early days of formulting a plan to bring the cabin back to life from it's dismal, haunting silence and reclaim the crippled landscape.

One of the challenging ways release took place in my life was a letting go of the discipline I'd gripped tightly in making progress on losing weight. Earlier this year, I weighed less than I have in more than a dozen years. Now, I've backtracked, allowing circumstances to dictate how I ate, not deciding how I ate regardless of emotional or other environments.

I'm attempting to regain the upper hand as of late, exercising weekly and (now) getting a hand on my calorie intake (to include baking cookies so we can get them out of the house).

Another is that I'll need to prime the "bring-a-paycheck-home-every-one-to-two-weeks" pump again soon. My hope is that though I may get an interim job during the transition into the next major phase that I'll find my way what it is God's been disturbing my heart to do.

At my core and nature, I'm a writer, but I really believe God's called me to become more involved in the lives of internationals. Having met and spent time around an Iranian couple, their culture is particularly on my heart.

Fortunately for us, Auburn University is just a few miles away and gives us quite the opportunity to spend time with internationals, if nothing else to let them know that though they are thousands of miles from home someone nearby cares.

While I don't know if I'll be able to gain paid employment in working with folks from other countries, there are many informal ways we can love on and befriend people from other cultures here and that's what we intend to do. 

Also, to this end, I hope to obtain formal education in teaching English as a Second Language this fall and am awaiting word regarding whether I'll be accepted as I write this. I've also considered going back to get higher degrees in military history and possibly those which would give me more formal exposure to the Iranian language and culture. But those are just on the drawing board for now.

So back to "release." I think it's been shaping me whether I've been conscious of it or not. But the point is to be intentional about it, so I hope to move forward these next few months with the word burrowed deep into my heart, making its home there and hopefully making me uncomfortable – or settled – where needed.

So I've set myself a weekly reminder to review the One Word for this year, let it soak on my heart and mind, and impact me in ways I haven't yet explored.

But since this isn't designed as a "Lone Ranger" exercise, feel free to ask me how it's going and what new facet I've discovered of the word I'm uncovering.

In less than 48 hours, I'll be sitting in a rental house in Auburn, Ala., a place with deep roots for my family. My grandparents spent time there for a number of years and for about a year – of which I remember very little – I stayed with my grandmother in the old family house.

Not far to the west, my parents built a cabin in the late 1970s. My wife and I now own it. An EF-3 tornado left it standing but with a great deal of damage. We'll need to cut down pretty much every tree on the lot. We have a lot of work to do.

We realized not long after seeing the damage that we could not easily manage the recovery from more than 225 miles away. So, we turned our compass to the southeast away from Starkville, Miss., where we now live.

Earlier today, we returned from making our first trip to Auburn. We had a little time to spare so we drove through some of the areas of Tuscaloosa, Ala. ripped apart by an even larger tornado than the one which struck our cabin. 

I graduated from the University of Alabama and often drove through various parts of town, including the Alberta City community. My wife and I took a quick detour into the tornado-stricken region of Alberta City. It looked nothing like I remembered.

Words can't fully describe what we saw. I kept repeating aloud: "I've never seen anything like this in my life." 

So, sure, the best way for us to respond to what we face with the cabin was to move closer, and yes, this decision – with its origins in a destructive force – will ultimately be good for our family. It's really challenging to hold such optimism for the residents of Alberta City.

Yet if I truly believe what I say I do, moments like these can shape future generations. A decision to rebuild or not rebuild will leave huge wakes in the community. To start over or just leave it behind. To find a way through even though it seems impossible or just walk away and find a new place to live. These are huge choices. 

The truth staring me squarely in the face today was just the dose of reality I needed. It wasn't simply a comparison of being in better shape than these folks, but realizing grace can mean different things to different people. For us, it means a chance to hit the reset button in a sense. For others, it means at least they survived. For still others, at least they didn't lose all of their family members. 

My One Word for this year is 'release.' I've been released out of and into a whole host of things with the recent set of events, and certainly not in the way I expected. While I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow in new and different ways, I'm discovering so many others are still try to find a way to put one foot in front of the other. 

Release means something entirely diferent for them and it's my prayer they will find the strength to carry on despite the pain of loss and they can find a way to start over in a new and incredible way.

What challening circumstances have you faced and how have you overcome them?

As you've already seen on my wife's blog, we've made a really big decision this week – we're moving to Auburn, Ala.

A cabin my parents built in the 1970s got hit by a tornado during the April 27 outbreak which left hundreds dead across the South. While the house is still standing, much work is ahead for us and it simply can't be done from where we are.

Auburn will afford us the opportunity to get there quickly and frequently and Jadyn a really good school system to attend.

For some time, Auburn's been one of the places we've wanted to live and we're grateful for the opportunity to get there.

We are at peace about our decision, but there are many unknowns.

As many of you know, I've been in the process of learning Farsi. One of the ways I'm learning is through an iPhone app called "WordPowerLt." It presents a phrase or word every day for the user to practice recognizing, reading and saying. 

Today, I was awake at an unreasonable hour of the morning for a variety of reasons, probably one of them being trying to wade through what we've got ahead of us.

Then this clear, unmistakable reminder came up:

So we are going to make "Don't worry" our motto around here, even while all the variables are at play and as I look for both interim part-time work and a longer-term employment.

So if you hear us saying "negaraan nabaash" a lot, know it's one of our ways of trusting God instead of having it all figured and planned out ahead of time and let Him do what he must in and through all the unknowns.

What adventures are you or have you been on and how has God led you through them or is leading you through them?

It's been nearly six weeks since I've blogged and I've got some things up my sleeve for near-term content. So, let's get things re-ignited with a #oneword2011 update.

 
I picked the word "release" and set some rather definite ways I hoped this word would unfold in my life. Some are taking shape; others not so much. But there's still time, right? 

 
Over the last several weeks, I encountered a weight loss setback. I let the brakes off while my wife and I were out of town in February, then never really regained control as I let myself rely on an old standby – emotional eating – in addressing some unexpected circumstances. Don't let anyone fool you: This challenge confronts men and women alike.

This past week, I hit a point where I'd erased more than half my weight loss progress. I decided enough was enough. Have I overdone it a little since my declaration? Yes, but knowing what I did to myself, coupled with adding cycling to the mix (we bought bicycles on Saturday) I think we'll the momentum broadly in the right direction.

 
I've made progress in learning Farsi, the primary language of Iran. I can say "hello," "goodbye," "I know a little Farsi," "eat," "water" and "juice." I'm getting there on the rest of it. I've also been reading a lot about Iran, learning about its culture as well as its past history and present realities. Frankly, I'm falling in love with the people and the overarching culture. I'm saddened and heartbroken by what I read regarding its history and the challenges many face inside Iran today. 

I'm hoping these discoveries will lead me to express my concern in tangible ways.
Hopefully this is enough of a start to get the ball rolling. So now it's your turn: What areas of life have you seen either improvements or setbacks in the first four months of the year?

Sometimes, we don't discover our pre-conceived ideas about someone or something until after we encounter the person, object or event.

I realized this after hearing Michael Hyatt talk at re:create 11.

I let the words "Christian publisher" cloud my understanding about what someone in this role would be like, and what he or she would say. I thought he would just tease us with his knowledge about publishing, stopping short of giving us the full secret to success and let us figure it out on our own.

I thought he would be plastic, dare I say cheesy. I'd didn't expect Hyatt to go messing around in my junk drawer.

He went straight for an issue which has crippled me across my life's spectrum – offense and its various stripes and colors.

"If you are going to survive and fullfill you God-given calling, you must learn how to handle criticism and overlook offenses," he said.

In being offended, I've lived my life as though I was one of those masking-tape-lint-roller brushes, picking up the tiniest of things and letting them grow into something beyond my ability to control.

As Hyatt said, we "expend an enormous amount of energy" worrying, fretting these ultimately insignificant things and let them destroy our creative and spiritual drive.

In being offensive, I've often erred on the side of playing it safe, assuming people already look at me with a jaundiced, suspicious eye, waiting to pounce on something off-color, ill-conceived or downright silly, let alone anything bold or daring. I couldn't imagine speaking about something I really care about for fear I would be laughed out of the room. 

Fortunately, I'm growing out of this and learning to find my own voice about things which matter to me.

He said we should overlook an offense when: 

• It's intended as a correction.

• You discern that the other person was reacting because of something else.

• It's undeserved but minor.

• No one else is affected but you.

We should overlook offenses by doing the following:

• Acknowlege that you've been offended. "I don't think you can transcend what you don't acknowlege," he said.

• Remind yourself you have a choice.

 • Realize you are dead to these things as a Christian. Hyatt recounted the story of a man who came to see Abba Macarius the Egyptian who asked him to "give me a word so I may be saved." Abba encouraged him to go to the cemetery and insult the dead. They didn't respond. Then, Abba asked him to go back and praise them. No reaction.

Abba said: "If you wish to be saved must do the same and become a dead man. Like the dead, take no account of either the scorn of others or their praises, and you can be saved."

 • Forgive the other person and let it go.

The two biggest takeaways are: 

• "God is committed to a bigger story than what you're doing at the moment. God is all about your character and a bigger story he's weaving," Hyatt said. He offered the quote: "God will often deliver us in a manner that seems, initially, to destroy us," from Daniel Defoe.

• He quoted something someone said somewhere along the way:"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick." Harboring an offense does little more than turn us away from each other, when the power and strength is in community, and distract us from what we're really designed to do.

In the end, he encouraged us to pray that we "ask God for the gift of ears." We need to discern intent, looking at the big picture, and really determine whether something someone said, did or didn't do is worth our time and attention.

Otherwise, it's just a distraction and an attempt to smear the ink on the bigger story God's trying to write in our lives.

What challenges have you faced with being offended or giving offense and how have you worked to overcome it?

Once I hit the main highway toward our local church this morning, I stepped on the accelerator. A tiny ball of emotions seemed to grow as I gained speed.

They came from all manner of sources – thinking about work tomorrow and what's ahead. The sweet times of relaxation and enjoyment we all encountered at re:create this week. All of it.

I wouldn't call it worry or stress, but a growing cacophony of internal noise.

Then from behind me, I heard the faint sounds of my daughter, Jadyn, singing these words: 

"You and me we're going to get together;

You got a problem and we'll make it better;

There is nothing that we can't weather;

My friends and me."

It's a song, ironically, by the Imagination Movers – a children's musical group – called "My Friends and Me." The more she sang, the more this ball shriveled up and blew into the wind.

At Recreate 11, God placed in our lives a cadre of people who care about us and vice versa, who want to talk, work and love things out together, long after we've all washed our clothes and put away our backpacks and suitcases from this week.

I can't wait to sit down and map out all the things God revealed to us in this time and move the vision into action steps.

The best way to sum up right now what God's stirred in our lives is the scene from "The Shawshank Redemption" where Andy Dufresne says: "Get busy living or get busy dying."

I'm gonna choose living and I know now I've got friends who will help me do it.

I'm still unpacking what "living" looks like from here on out, but I think we're in for a real adventure.

How is God stirring your heart these days and how are you processing it?

I'm not the most succinct person you'll ever meet. But I find myself facing the inability to form more than several dozen words to describe what the Recreate conference has meant to me, particularly what transpired Wednesday.

God took me on a journey through a broad array of emotions and cut away huge slices of scar tissue around my heart. Layers of defeat, disappointment and doubt splattered on the floor and left me feeling more alive than I have in years.

As the day wore on, I felt like God was forming around us a genuine 'band of brothers' which includes women, of people who will be there to listen and tote one of end of the load when it gets difficult to carry. Of course, we'll be more than willing to do the same.

I can't wait to see what's in store for the final full day of Recreate. It really will be special. I just know it!

I don't know how often I'll be able to do this, but here are a few thoughts about my experience so far with the folks I've met here in advance of Recreate '11.

I have a habit I'm not always are of, and it's this: I look away when I'm talking to people. I think it's an insecurity issue. It's certainly not a matter of lack of interest, though to the viewer it can come off as such. 

Today, I was around people who listened intently to what I had to say, and looked at me - often directly in my eyes – while they spoke. I'm unsettled by it but it's a good unsettling, not a bad one. Not at all. 

So as we speak this week, my fellow Recreators, please don't get unnerved with me as I work on this. If you catch me looking in your eyes, know that I'm doing my best to engage fully in our conversations and know I care about what you're saying. Or if my eyes dart, it's not you, it's me. But hopefully for not much longer. 

I can't wait to see you all in less than an hour! 

Earlier this week, I continued to think through all the great things which I know are ahead at the re:create conference.
Then it hit me: The last time we set foot in Franklin, Tenn., some dear friends of ours were very much alive and we said goodbye to them with every reason to believe we'd see them again.
As we sit in The Warehouse in Franklin in the coming days, we'll be making new memories with people we hope we'll get to know well and interact with for a long time to come. We'll probably still think about our friends a lot while we're in Franklin (and The Warehouse), but we'll also let go of the pain, remember the fun times we spent with them there and enjoy our time in Franklin in 2011.

It'll be fitting we'll be with musicians and creatives as our friends – Chris and Leah Walls – were both respectively. We miss them and will think of them often when we're there but we're ready to start some new relationships and create new memories in Franklin.
On the night of June 16, 2006, we were contacted by some mutual friends in Franklin to get our help to track down Chris and Leah's next of kin. At the time, we didn't know why, but we sought out Phoenix media websites and saw that two adults and two children were dead in an automobile crash.
We worked through the early morning to try to see what we could do to help. We prayed and hoped it wasn't them.
We got the confirmation it was indeed them on the 17th.
Here are three blog posts of mine from the days following what happened to Chris, Leah and their two children.

June 17, 2006 (one):

Details on this post may be disturbing to some readers:
Chris, Leah, Miller and Mallory Walls died in a two-vehicle accident around 4:15 p.m. MDT Friday, June 16 in metro Phoenix, Ariz.
According to various media reports, the family was on its way to a church service at Desert Life Church in Scottsdale, Ariz. They were stopped at an intersection in their Mazda MPV when a Chrysler Pacifica, driven by Haluk Kandas, 29, of Phoenix left an exit ramp going 65-70 mph and rear-ended the van. The vehicle eventually caught fire.
It is unclear exactly how the family died.
Chris and Leah were 36 and 34 respectively. Miller and Mallory were each approximately 7 and 5 respectively.
Chris had a wonderful entrepreneurial spirit and Leah was an amazing artist. They loved their children immensely and desired to serve Jesus Christ with their lives and talents.
We knew them from our days at Christ Community Church in Montgomery, Ala. and continued to stay in contact with them after they relocated to metro Nashville, Tenn. several years ago. They moved to Phoenix within the last 18 months. We last saw them in May 2004.
Those who wish may contact me via e-mail for further details. We hope to know more about funeral arrangements in the near future. I hope someone is able to post their works for the world to see. We pray that in their deaths and through their amazing gifts people will come to know Christ.

June 17, 2006 (two):

Nothing major new to report. Phoenix television station websites have videotape of reports from the scene and may have updated their reporting through the evening.
We're running on adrenaline and that's about gone.
Will pass along, either here or through other means, any important details to share.
We last saw them when Chris, Amanda and I went with another friend of the family to see Rush in Nashville on the opening show of their 30th anniversary tour.
Chris and I were both huge Rush fans.
Of course, we still love the faith these two operated by, which led them to Phoenix.
Before I post the more serious things, Chris knew Amanda and I by our nicknames: "Paulina Poriskova (sp?)" for me and "(E)mand(er) Holyfield." I'm sure his nickname for Jadyn would've been just as humorous.
Here are some scriptures and some lines from a fitting Rush song, "Afterimage":
“Suddenly, you were gone
From all the lives you left your mark upon …
This is something that just can't be understood
I learned your love for life,
I feel the way that you would
I feel your presence
I remember

I feel the way you would

This just can't be understood... .”

Isaiah 26:3:

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

Proverbs 3:5:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

June 25, 2006:

Those who knew Chris, Leah, Miller and Mallory Walls - or at least their families - filled Hillcrest Baptist Church in Enterprise, Ala. Saturday.
Some traveled at least as far as Arizona to pay their respects. Others drove from other locations throughout the Southeast, including Mississippi and Tennessee.
The reality of the loss seemed distant until funeral home personnel wheeled the four caskets - including two small ones - out of the sanctuary and the searing pain became evident on the faces of those left behind.
Mourners loaded up in their cars and rode several miles to the four donated plots where the Walls' earthly bodies rest for the time being.
Drivers stopped for the processional.
Some got out to pay their respects, with one man holding his bright orange Tennessee hat over his heart.
A police officer stood at attention while keeping other traffic at bay.
Enterprise noted its loss in fine fashion, and we're trusting Heaven responded in kind on receipt of these four souls.
Singing "You give and take away ... My heart will choose to say blessed be your name" in church today brought on a whole new meaning, and, of course, tears. I want to trust and believe the Lord in this our loss, but it's hard for both Amanda and I to accept that we won't be able to converse with our friends until we see them again.
They inspired us to reach beyond the norm. Amanda started painting several years ago. She had some emotions she wanted to express through art and Leah told her to go for it.
Chris and Leah both patiently listened and encouraged us as we sought the Lord's direction in the possibility of moving to Franklin, Tenn.
During this soul-searching, we got the amazing privilege to arrive in time to see Mallory enter the world from a downtown Nashville hospital.
I watched in awe as Chris pursued his dream to become a professional drummer and later, developed a record label.
Leah's art had a personal touch which went beyond her formal training and expressed her personality - warm, welcoming and full of life.
This family had a place in our aforementioned hodge-podge extended family.
We will miss them and hang on to the memories we have of them, pledging to make new ones with the friends and family we have left.
And, most importantly, we're praying that those we know will eventually come to know Jesus Christ, the One who makes bearable this otherwise unimaginable loss.

---

So while I'm trying to keep my expectations about re:create within reason, I know already it will change my mind and heart about one area of my life. I do believe a form of release will happen. And it will be a good thing.

Merriam-Webster defines "release" in four primary ways. These are to:
• "Set free from restraint, confinement, or servitude".
• "Relieve from something that confines, burdens, or oppresses."
• "Give up in favor of another."
• "Give permission for publication, performance, exhibition, or sale of."

When I picked "release" as my One Word for 2011, I honestly didn't take all of its main meanings into consideration.
But they all apply.

I want to identify the things in my life which set me back, not just from achieving my ideal of success, but which constrain me from sensing what God has laid on my heart to do and get it done. The thing is I know I've fallen into all manner of things which left me "lashed to the deck" for far too long. And I'm sure I've been in bondage to one thing or another.

"Release" includes dropping a habit or behavior which would leave me better off than the one I had.
And the final sense of permitting sale is to give my self wholeheartedly to God without reservation or condition.
So here I am, embracing the full definition of release and hoping to make all the small choices which will lead to a release unlike one I can imagine now.

But what I can see is an image of one who's been bound up in thick rope, working out of it a half-inch at a time, then finding more space to work with until one ring, then another begins to loosen and fall off.

Maturity can take place over one a long period of time or in finite monents or through ephiphanies.

I'm thrilled at the chance all three could happen and that this isn't the end of the exploration of this word and its impact, but just the beginning.